Tag Archives: Ripples

Conversations

We live in the third house from the beach. It’s a small two-story, though bigger than our last home. The second floor is one large room with toys, a cardboard house, a craft table, my Pilates reformer and walls covered … Continue reading

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Legoland

We spent yesterday and today at Legoland. On the drive down, I kept flashing back to our first visit, at the tail end of my four weeks of first trimester bleeding. Steve had work in San Diego so Ada and … Continue reading

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The next stage

Yesterday Ada wanted to buy new sunglasses, For when I’m a big sister. Yesterday we watched one of our neighbors with his almost-two-year-old son walking hand in hand toward us on the beach. Holding the little boy’s other hand was … Continue reading

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Another change

When I left my last blog and started writing here, my goal was to capture the little moments of grief and survival, the moments that are gone in an instant, like individual drops of water caught in the torrent that … Continue reading

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Lessons learned

Reverb10. December 17. Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (from Tara Weaver, author of The Butcher and the Vegetarian) 2010 was a year … Continue reading

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Holding on

Today we dropped off baby and maternity items for the big consignment sale. The hardest thing to part with was my Moby wrap. I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I used it carry Ada close to my heart for the … Continue reading

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The return of fear

The fear is back. It’s manifesting differently but after six splinters, two scraped knees, complaints of tummy pain and a huge fall all in the last five days, I’m terrified that a) my fear caused all of this and b) … Continue reading

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The ugly side of grief

For a little while tonight, I thought I was a normal human being again. I’m not. I hurt a friend – and possibly scared a few others – in my messiness. My skin is as thin as Benjamin’s was when … Continue reading

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Permission granted

My grief is shifting again. There are times when I feel like I’m crumbling still. At other times there is a vagueness that is new. Putting Ada to sleep tonight I realized it was Thursday and I had to think … Continue reading

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New glasses

My incision hurts today. More than it has in a couple of weeks. I don’t know if I’ve done something to strain it or if I’m just less numb. ***** I feel as though Benjamin’s death has grabbed me by … Continue reading

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