Tag Archives: heartbreak

A letter to my body

Today’s post was inspired by the lovely Kristin Noelle over at Trust Tending. Please treat yourself to some time there. Her sketches, meditations, rituals and interviews are food for the soul. Go here to read other letters. Write your own. … Continue reading

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Early Days

The grief is pouring out of me like early days. I don’t sleep well. I wake up tired, spent. I am unhappy, uncomfortable, as though I am the princess and there is a pea hidden under my skin. My patience … Continue reading

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The next stage

Yesterday Ada wanted to buy new sunglasses, For when I’m a big sister. Yesterday we watched one of our neighbors with his almost-two-year-old son walking hand in hand toward us on the beach. Holding the little boy’s other hand was … Continue reading

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January thoughts

I am meeting another baby lost mama (BLM) next week for coffee. She’s not quite two months out from her son’s death. Full term baby. No problems. Gone. I wish I could remember which BLM blogged about dead baby math … Continue reading

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My heart breaks

Tonight the information highways are full of today’s shooting of Rep Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona and her staff. My heart breaks for the victims – for everyone who witnessed the violence. My heart breaks because there is so much hate, … Continue reading

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I remember

Reverb10. December 15. 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (from Patti Digh, author of Creative … Continue reading

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Illusions

Last night I watched the clock inch minutes into hours, knowing that morning would come too soon. I have no words tonight. Or rather, the words I  have, have been written before. Exhausted. Struggling. Tears. Heartache. Frustration. I am bored … Continue reading

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All I could do was cry

I am struggling today. Maybe because it’s Thursday (I would have been 34 weeks. It’s been 11 weeks since he died), or because tomorrow is October 15th – National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, or because on days when … Continue reading

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Stuff

My mom had hip replacement surgery yesterday. Any time anyone I love has major surgery, it makes me nervous. Fear and I have been such close acquaintances lately.  She’s doing well except she has ridiculously low blood pressure. I’ve chosen … Continue reading

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My son

I haven’t looked at Ben’s pictures in about a month. In preparation for tomorrow, the two month anniversary of his death, I made a copy of one of them. Here it is. Here he is. My son.

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