Tag Archives: Grief

Conversations

We live in the third house from the beach. It’s a small two-story, though bigger than our last home. The second floor is one large room with toys, a cardboard house, a craft table, my Pilates reformer and walls covered … Continue reading

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Love and stuff

Yesterday morning I woke to pictures of my cousin’s new baby boy in my inbox. I smiled. He’s beautiful. Grief sat squarely on my chest. I ignored it. I thought about everything I needed to get done. I began to … Continue reading

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Grief changes relationships

Over the last 11 months, I have found myself reaching out to women I know who are further along in their mourning process. It doesn’t matter if our losses are similar, because grief is specific to each of us. As … Continue reading

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11 months

Yesterday was 11 months from the date of Ben’s death. Most of the day felt like any other in this new life. I had a moment in the morning where I looked at the clock on the microwave and flashed … Continue reading

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Grief is not linear

Time heals all wounds. You’ll feel better in time. Eventually the pain will lessen. The first 3 months…the first 6 months…the first year is the hardest. These are all true, though they offer thin comfort. They add to the illusion … Continue reading

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Thoughts from the shower

I am exhausted. I am finally taking everything I’ve been and done in my life, and tying it into one cohesive whole. I am moving toward a future that involves me contributing to the world in a bigger way. I … Continue reading

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Letting go…again

There has been a lot of letting go in my life recently. Letting go of the way I think things should be. Letting go of expectations. Letting go of what I believe I want in place of what lies underneath. … Continue reading

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Intuition

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. -Albert Einstein There is a voice deep inside you that is … Continue reading

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Words from the future

When I was entering my second trimester with Ben, at the tail end of a month of bleeding, I sat with a colleague of my husband’s who, a decade previously, had lost two babies at 5 months gestation. Two. A … Continue reading

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8 months

Last night I found myself putting Ada to sleep in the same bed we were in the night my pregnancy ended. As I lay there, images of that night washing over and through me, I realized it was March 29. … Continue reading

Posted in Looking back | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments