Tag Archives: fear

I remember

Last weekend a few wonderful writers (Lindsey, Denise & Lisa to name three) whose blogs I love attended a magical retreat on memoir writing by the oh-so-talented Dani Shapiro. One of the exercises they were given, inspired by Joe Brainerd’s … Continue reading

Posted in Looking back | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Gifts & Giveaway #2

Sometimes when I am afraid, I remember how the hardest moments in my life have brought the greatest gifts. The fact that my marriage fell apart early on gave us the opportunity to rebuild it with a solid foundation, allowing … Continue reading

Posted in Growth, In the Now | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Leaping

My mind is spinning. It is keeping me up at night, whirling its way into my meditations, forcing me out of the present moment. I am about to step off the edge of a cliff – again.  Similar leaps have … Continue reading

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Not ready

Lying in the bed, in the middle of the night, I realized I am terrified of getting pregnant. A number of the baby lost mamas who blog and whose babies died in the last year are pregnant again. I am … Continue reading

Posted in In the Now, Looking forward | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Action

Reverb10. December 13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (from Scott Belsky, author of Making Ideas Happen) I am the antithesis of action. So much so that … Continue reading

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Whispers in the dark

Once upon a time I was a very calm mama when my daughter was sick. Then a procedure-happy pediatrician planted a seed of fear in the back of my brain and my baby died. The one-two punch shook me off … Continue reading

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According to plan

If things had gone according to plan, I would be the mother of a three month old child. Maybe a little sister for my sweet girl who so desperately wants a sibling to hold. If things had gone according to … Continue reading

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The return of fear

The fear is back. It’s manifesting differently but after six splinters, two scraped knees, complaints of tummy pain and a huge fall all in the last five days, I’m terrified that a) my fear caused all of this and b) … Continue reading

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Dancing with Fear

A wise woman reminded me today that Ada witnessing my process is part of her journey and I can stop feeling guilty about it. Of course Abraham would say feeling guilty is better than feeling fear. I don’t want either … Continue reading

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There is no guarantee

I am a mess today. I haven’t been sleeping well. I am struggling to fall asleep, to stay asleep – I keep waking to make sure Ada is breathing – and my dreams have been terrifying. They are either action … Continue reading

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