Tag Archives: doctor

January thoughts

I am meeting another baby lost mama (BLM) next week for coffee. She’s not quite two months out from her son’s death. Full term baby. No problems. Gone. I wish I could remember which BLM blogged about dead baby math … Continue reading

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In a moment, everything shifted

Reverb10. December 3. Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (from Ali Edwards, Memory Keeping Idea Books). The moment that drifted into my consciousness as I read this, the moment … Continue reading

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A long road

It hit me again today, after shoving a quarter of a bag of chocolate chips into my mouth – I am not pregnant anymore. ***** I had my post-partum visit with the doctor this morning. Normally it would be at … Continue reading

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One Month

Benjamin died a month ago today. I am not ready to be bleeding again, but I am. Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I found myself staring at another toilet bowl full of blood. My post-partum bleeding … Continue reading

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Ashes to Ashes

Benjamin came home today. What’s left of his tiny body is held in a small white box with his name, date of death, city, date of cremation and the name of the funeral home. The box came wrapped in a … Continue reading

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An Impossible Situation

I send flowers to the doctor, to the nurses in labor and delivery who took such good care of me, who let me into their hearts. I cancel my appointment with the perinatologist. Why? the voice on the phone asks. … Continue reading

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