Tag Archives: anger

Release

I’ve had a pain in my chest the last few days. I figured it was the coffee. I get scary heart palpitations from too much caffeine (too much being more than a cup a day). I saw a cardiologist years … Continue reading

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Grief gone sideways

Every time I see a very pregnant woman – and there were a lot of them today – I want to strike up a conversation. I want to be friendly, kind, curious and then I want to tell them my … Continue reading

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There is no guarantee

I am a mess today. I haven’t been sleeping well. I am struggling to fall asleep, to stay asleep – I keep waking to make sure Ada is breathing – and my dreams have been terrifying. They are either action … Continue reading

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Next Friday October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I’d never heard of it before, which seems another indication that while the reality of this impossible situation is acknowledged, we are to grieve as quietly, as privately … Continue reading

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Falling Apart

Today Ada and I made cupcakes for my dad’s birthday. I cleared piles of paper off the desk while she watched Sesame Street on the computer. It all feels too normal. It seems too soon to feel this way, to … Continue reading

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