Tag Archives: alone

Illusions

Last night I watched the clock inch minutes into hours, knowing that morning would come too soon. I have no words tonight. Or rather, the words I  have, have been written before. Exhausted. Struggling. Tears. Heartache. Frustration. I am bored … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Icing

I had a tough day today. Woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. The worst part is I know it’s all in my head – the suffering anyway. The grief is real but the unhappiness, the frustration, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Time Away

My time away was… Too long. Not long enough. Exactly what I needed. Nothing like I wanted. Joyful. Annoying. Perfect. The Sunday morning service at the sanctuary was sweet. There were maybe 30 people, the musicians were a little off … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

On my own

Today was my first full 24 hours on my own with Ada since Ben died. I am exhausted and heartbroken. The day went well, all things considered. I was a little less patient than I would have liked, my pizza … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Ache

Today is the first day since I got home from the hospital that there isn’t a sympathy card in the mail. This makes my heart ache. ***** My heart aches for many reasons today. I miss my husband. I miss … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Marking Time

It has been one week since Benjamin’s…birth? Death? What do I call it? Soon it will be one month, then one year, then ten years. The healing will happen because it must. It is what we do as human beings … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

What happens then?

I realized tonight as I held Ada in my arms and felt her fall asleep that I am afraid of September. My parents will be gone, the home cooked meal delivery will stop and everyone else will go on with … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments