Tag Archives: my children

When will we die?

Mama, when did baby Benjamin die? He died July 29, so almost three months ago. Mama, when will we die? We don’t know sweetheart. Hopefully we will all live long, happy lives. Long – for a 3 year old – … Continue reading

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This moment

Recently Ada has been telling people two things, I’m going to be a big sister, and When I’m a big sister I’m going to ride a bigger bike. She’s also taken to saying hello to random people. Occasionally she will … Continue reading

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A Shift

I am sensing a subtle shift in the way the world works, and the way I exist within it. I could use the word manifesting. I’ve probably overused the word as though uttering it would speed the process. Now that … Continue reading

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One a Week

Incision update: I feel minimally better today. Will be calling the doctor at 9am sharp tomorrow. I really think I just overdid it somehow. ***** We went to a birthday party today and I spoke with several people who didn’t … Continue reading

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Making friends with fear

Each day, we’re given many opportunities to open up or shut down. The most precious opportunity presents itself when we come to the place where we think we can’t handle whatever is happening. It’s too much. It’s gone too far. … Continue reading

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Miracles. Maybe.

The note on my calendar yesterday said You Create Miracles. My first reaction was to dismiss this¬† – dismiss myself – with a shake of the head and a wry smile. Then I stopped. Yes. Yes, I do create miracles. … Continue reading

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Fear

I woke up this morning around 5am and rested my hand on what I thought was Ada’s stomach. It felt cold (she runs warm) and I couldn’t feel the gentle rise and fall of her breath. In an instant, ice … Continue reading

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Something Tangible

When I miscarried my first pregnancy, I needed something tangible to remember the little being who was growing inside me. I found a thin hammered gold ring and placed it inside my wedding band, closest to my heart. When I … Continue reading

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