Tag Archives: guilt

Wallowing

Posted on March 7, 2011 by

I spilled the salt today. It wasn’t a big deal. I was working on another batch of kale chips and hadn’t made enough room on the counter. The salad spinner was drying on top of a bowl. It shifted and … Continue reading →

Posted in In the Now, Looking back | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

There is no guarantee

Posted on October 18, 2010 by

I am a mess today. I haven’t been sleeping well. I am struggling to fall asleep, to stay asleep – I keep waking to make sure Ada is breathing – and my dreams have been terrifying. They are either action … Continue reading →

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On my own

Posted on September 21, 2010 by

Today was my first full 24 hours on my own with Ada since Ben died. I am exhausted and heartbroken. The day went well, all things considered. I was a little less patient than I would have liked, my pizza … Continue reading →

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I wonder

Posted on September 2, 2010 by

There are moments where I feel guilty that I am not grieving enough. I will suddenly realize that I don’t feel the weight on my chest, that my eyes have been dry for an hour or two. I might compare … Continue reading →

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I wonder

Posted on August 18, 2010 by

I’ve been wondering about a few things. I try not to. I can’t go back and change what happened. I can’t bring Benjamin back. So I work to stay in a place of trust that I did all I could. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments