Monthly Archives: February 2011

Little gratitudes

Posted on February 28, 2011 by

Every night as I drift into sleep, I spend time with my gratitude. Tonight I thought I would share some here. Despite my writing about grief, my life is good. I have the luxury of these thoughts. My basic needs … Continue reading →

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Limbo

Posted on February 26, 2011 by

I’ve been struggling all day. Fighting reality. I’m coming to realize it’s harder to know that changing my thoughts is a choice, ending the suffering is a choice, and being wholly unable to get there. It’s not that I had … Continue reading →

Posted in In the Now | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Leaping

Posted on February 24, 2011 by

My mind is spinning. It is keeping me up at night, whirling its way into my meditations, forcing me out of the present moment. I am about to step off the edge of a cliff – again.  Similar leaps have … Continue reading →

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The Hope

Posted on February 22, 2011 by

When the inner joy Mother Teresa spoke of, the joy of compassionate service, is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing economic, social, and political institutions, a radical and potentially all-transforming holy force is born. This … Continue reading →

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The Work

Posted on February 20, 2011 by

Have you ever had a thought that isn’t about you? – Byron Katie There are times when all I can do is laugh at the perfection of life. Thursday morning an innocently sent text had me reeling backward through a … Continue reading →

Posted in Growth | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

One step closer

Posted on February 18, 2011 by

One of the most important things Ben’s death has done for me is allow me to peel away layers of old habits and thought patterns, and feel as though I’ve been given another chance to step into myself. I realize … Continue reading →

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Flow

Posted on February 16, 2011 by

My word for 2011 is ease. Not easy, as in I want life to be simple, trouble-free, all bubble gum and champagne. Ease. Where I stand firmly in the center of who I am and it feels right, it feels … Continue reading →

Posted in In the Now | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Legoland

Posted on February 14, 2011 by

We spent yesterday and today at Legoland. On the drive down, I kept flashing back to our first visit, at the tail end of my four weeks of first trimester bleeding. Steve had work in San Diego so Ada and … Continue reading →

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Fish hooks

Posted on February 12, 2011 by

I can see them in my  mind’s eye – the glint of silver, light flashing off their smooth lines, deadly barbs curving innocently back on themselves. They’ve been in me so long, I barely notice their presence. But I know … Continue reading →

Posted in In the Now | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Release

Posted on February 10, 2011 by

I’ve had a pain in my chest the last few days. I figured it was the coffee. I get scary heart palpitations from too much caffeine (too much being more than a cup a day). I saw a cardiologist years … Continue reading →

Posted in Growth, In the Now | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments